Qualities

Every human being owns their own traits: funny, smart, and the such. But i think i have a nice combination of at least two qualities, sense of humor and being an asshole. Both qualities, to me, hold quite a similarity. you need to be an asshole to be funny. you cant make jokes without offending someone, therefore you will be an asshole to someone.

there has always been a phrase "at what cost", and the cost of comedy is the negative views by someone who says, "damn, that guy is an asshole."

well i could be wrong, maybe im just an asshole and not funny at all. either way, im having a great time with it, and isnt that all that matters?

Cosmetics and ugly models

I could have high standards, i dont know, but when i watch cosmetic commercials, i would like to think that the models should be hot. Recently, ive seen commercials that have been plagued with ugly ugly women. I mean come on, Sarah Jessica Parker?! she is a horse, honest to god. and shes main lining a product that is used on the face? dude, swing and a miss. Use Beyonce or something, she is a gorgeous woman. Truly breathtaking, and yet you choose SJP? i only hope you didnt get beyonce is because of price. because damn, i would buy the product if beyonce was sellin it.

ok im getting off topic but damn...beyonce. even that name is sexy, beyonce. alright alright, cosmetic companies, lemme just tell you this one more time: use hot women for cosmetic products. Yes, that can sound a bit mean, but if you wanna show true quality of product, wouldnt using a hot woman be the best canvas?


get back to me on that

wtf?

so i saw a viagra commercial recently and it said "if erection lasts for more than 4 hours, call a doctor". wtf? why would i call my doctor with that? i dont know about you, but id call my girlfriend, my friend's girlfriends, id just call someone who isn't a man or a doctor. also, i dont really understand viagra or levitra. from my perspective, its pointless, as a 21 year old , i need some type of pill to keep it down, so in the end, viagra...wtf?

house of payne/racist commercials

ok so, for the past hour, house of payne has been on tbs. i dont personally think the show is funny, maybe its not my type of humor, but i watch it anyways because it is mild entertainment for me to wind down and relax.

what i recently noticed is all these racist commercials. popeyes is springing commericals around this time frame, using lingo and phrases that obviously frame a stereotype. its not too frustrating or sick, but its not subtle. at least make a commercial that seem to appeal to the masses, but actually target a certain aspect.

you guys are getting too lazy, commercial creators

Drinking + Gaming = Boring?

Ok so, i was playing games over last weekend while i was drinking some liquid courage, and i noticed something: If you play certain games while drinking, then the more annoying they get. Usually games that require more coordination, or sports games, are incredibly frustrating. I was playing MLB the Show 09, and i cant do anything worth talking about online. Who knew that two awesome components of life are very frustrating when combined? I cant take it anymore, i guess ill watch tv, or play mario or something. you know, something im already really good with

Good TV. Better TV. NOT DIRECTV.

"Good TV. Better TV. DIRECTV."- The exaggerated slogan is not only retarded, but it is terribly wrong. Wherever i look on the DirecTV website, there are multiple catchphrases to lure customers in, and to show how good their "service" is. There are multiple choices of packages, savings deals, and of course, "humorous" commericals you can view over and over, like you didnt already see it on tv before.

"Why choose DIRECTV? Our loyal customers say its the best." Of course loyal customers will say it is the best in their own field. Im sure if you ask flies about fecal matter, not only will they be loyal, but they will say ITS the best. But would you really want to eat a steaming pile of shit? Of course, the flies of DIRECTV swarm all around that quote, and add their own testimonials, like i give a shit who Larry from St. Louis is, or why he loves DirecTV anyhow.

"But why do you hate them so much Karl? You have yet to make a point." says some of you readers, so here are a few reasons why i hate directv: for one, it is a dish. They claim that weather is not a problem with transmission errors, but if thats true, then how come when its windy and rainy, my reception gets fucked up? Also, i have a nice, budget friendly package which was great when i moved into my apartment, until i turned on my television. I started out with 47 channels, complete with five movie channels, two duplicate channels, and two channels that show me a lovely directv logo floating around, in a way thats telling me to fuck off. I took that, because i dont watch alot of television anyways, so it was fine i suppose. I then find out, i dont even have ESPN, or even ESPN Deportes. I cant watch sports news... not even in fucking spanish.

Throughout my time with DIRECTV, they have cut out channels in my lineup, and either give me an old channel i had before they cut that one out, or just take out a channel and do nothing about it. Last night, i come back home from a visit to my parents house, and i was pumped to watch the latest episode of "Breaking Bad". I whip it onto channel 8, and sure enough, a black screen appeared. On multiple occasions, I have called them and all they suggest is to upgrade to a bigger package, only for about 20-30 dollars more a month. I am a student and work construction, i can barely afford good food, the power bill, and car insurance... fuck that. It seems like they love to cut things out so much, they actually cut out the "t" in DIRECT to make DIRECTV... like thats catchy, or some phrase. whenever i see it, i see "direct" and "v". what would that V stand for, Vandals of television?

"Direct TV" wouldnt make much sense for that company anyways, with the dog and pony show they run over there. If anything they should be called "REMOVE TV", but knowing them, they would remove a letter and rearrage the letters to make it more "customer friendly", such as "REMOTV"... Actually thats a good pointer, you can keep that one.

Sit and spin Direct TV